If there is a God, this is what will happen...
Barcelona, inspired by El Conejito Javier Saviola, will turn the Bernabeu into a Catalan Cauldron and win 3-0. Real Madrid, scarred at winning nothing in their centenary season, will fuck off to whatever Castellano hole they crawled from and never bother the earth, taking Scum with them.
The final will be a thriller at 3-3 in the final minutes before a fully fit Rivaldo pulls a Cruyff turn on Ballack, bicicletas around Sebescen and Lucio, then nutmegs the last defender and backheels past an onrushing Leverkusen keeper for 4-3.
The cup is then paraded through the streets of MADRID and KUALA LUMPUR (where most Man U fans live) to rub it in