Leaving UK and the questions it poses

I guess this one goes out to all of you who've made a home in the UK then have gone back to NZ or are in the throws of doing so.

The thought has crossed my mind, but this feels like home (maybe because I've been away from NZ for 5 years)
What will it be like adjusting back to the NZ way of life?
Will the slower pace of life been painful?
Will being a million miles away from Europe and weekend trips play on your mind too much?
And finally, will you go back to that "We are the best" NZ way of thinking and living in a bubble?

Anyone? I know D-Man can probably shed some light on this matter...

What will it be like adjusting back to the NZ way of life? No idea... im worried it will be like going backwards, but im very excited to be closer to my friends and family.. some of whom have needed me recently and i haven't been there for them.

Will the slower pace of life been painful?

Surely life is as fast or slow as you want it to be?
I've found things here to be convoluted and unnecessarily painful. Im looking forward to things being a bit more straightforward back home. I can get things done quicker and more effieciently.

Will being a million miles away from Europe and weekend trips play on your mind too much?

yes this is the one thing i will miss.. not the uk. but i have plans to come back on holiday already, so no big deal

And finally, will you go back to that "We are the best" NZ way of thinking and living in a bubble?

Well, i've never stopped thinking that kiwi's are great.. that's not to say that i haven't thought many other nationalities are great too.. 'best' is just arrogant, and i think the brit's are more guilty of that than the kiwi's. i'd say we're a bit more humble (well, the people i know are anyway) We can't think we're the 'best' when we are always trying to be better and achieve more.

We're not 'in a bubble' but yes, we are isolated/protected from some of the harsher realities of life.. that just makes us a little bit innocent..

hmm... i think a lot of british (actually, mainly english) are overly negative about their country...

have noticed quite a few arrogant kiwis (well, more just being completely ignorant of the difference in culture over here)... haven't met too many truly arrogant kiwis, but have met a few aussies like that

The first thing you will notice is how SLOOOOOW life is here and that you must conform to the norm of getting home, getting married, buying a house, having kids and then death. It feels like you're not a successful person unless you conform to this in New Zealand, because, what else is there to do apart from settle down and breed down here?! Too much pressure from society!

People will ask you if you have gotten your OE out of your system yet and you're ready to get on with a real life, just tell them to fuck off.

It will take some time but you never know, it could be exactly what you're looking for, a slowing down pace in life.

Sorry for sounding bitter, I'm not I just get hacked off with how society here puts pressure on you to conform to the idea of what life here should be about.

Interesting responce Stu.

I can certinaly feel your frustration about being asked if your ready to begin your 'Real Life'.

Is getting married, buying a house and having kids what NZ 'Real life' is all about???

Maybe 10-20 years ago, but now days, I beg to differ with the exciting opportunities both young and old New Zealanders are offered and encouraged to embrace.

There is so much we can do!

Imagine what it will be like for our kids in years to come. Which raises another argument about Global Warming. Will they still be able to go to the places we can currently experience???

I'm back in NZ for my first time in 3 years, just under 1 month away.

I like to think people will be interested in listening to my Real Life experiences.

I hear what you're saying Ryan.

But honestly bro, all we've heard since we've been back, mainly from people who have never left the country, and parents and other family friends mind, is the whole house, family, real life questions like what you did overseas is all a get it out fo your system phase and now it's time to join the real world.

Maybe it's just the generation before us mentallity, but yeah, we get it from people who haven't been on their OE too.

We got the same treatment when we returned from the UK.

"When are you getting married?"

"When are you buying a house?"

"So you're back for good now?"

"When are you having kids?"

People that haven't travelled just don't understand how hard it is to come back from all the excitement overseas to a smaller city, less people, less going on. Because they haven't experienced it themselves, they find it hard to comprehend why we aren't ready to settle down, buy a house and start making babies. I found it was mainly with the older generation, but there were some people my age asking the same questions.

I guess if you look at it from their point of view, you've come back to NZ from your OE, therefore you must be ready to settle down otherwise you would've stayed away. :shrug:

Thinking of coming home Geoffy...?


I've been home for just under two months now, and in all honestly, have found it a struggle to be back in Auckland.

After London, it has been a huge step down in terms of excitment, lack of a vibrancy, atmosphere, energy, and so forth in Auckland. Plus not having the romantic notion of Europe being an hour away across the Channel.

Auckland's public transport woes and not having a car has been a real downer in terms of maintaing independance and getting around - I soo miss the Tube, which has contributed to the struggle and not being settled.

As mentioned earlier in this thread, 99% of my old friends just dont have a clue about whats out there in the world, and just how hard it is coming home after experiencing so much while away. The amazing new places, the amazing sites, meeting other amazing people on your travels, and the experiences shared just can't be expressed in words or photos. Those 99% are caught up in their own little world, and can be rather insolar in their thinking.

Which is a shame really, as I've found I've got nothing in common with many of them anymore and have drifted apart. Such as life I guess.

Thankfully, I haven't had any grief from family, as I dont really know my extended family that well. My old man was part of the first generation of OE'ers back in the 1960s, so he knows how myself, and my sister are feeling.

I am already looking forward to more travel adventures sometime during 2008, and have no desire to settle down in the near future.

Jesus! I'm starting to picture similar questions come my way very soon.

Big ups to you guys who have been through all this. Do you think you will settle down in NZ for good? Or move elsewhere?

On another note:

I read an interesting article regarding www.newzealandnow.info - A website the govt set up to drive New Zealanders back home, which in fact is not doing so well with falling visitor numbers.

Come to think of it, its not the most google friendly website.

Opps, here is a link to the article.

http://www.workpermit.com/news/2006_04_10/australia/website_not_attracting_new_zealanders.htm

this is all starting to confirm my suspictions.... Those people that haven't travelled just don't know what's out there, nor what they're missing.

Hearing these things kind of puts the willies up me, I love to travel way too much and to be isolated there (NZ) would kill me, then not be able to share the past 5 years of my life and tell similar stories would kill me too. I mean, how quickly would someone get sick and tired of hearing "oh, and this one time in Greece/France/Spain/Mexico/Bahammas/Alaska..... " you get the idea.

I think D-Man summed it up nicely with some of your comments about people's thinking and not having things in common anymore...

What to do....

I'm not sure at this moment - I think there will be a strong chance of a Sydney/Melbourne move next year. But I also want to travel as well. Which can be difficult to achieve when you're trying to set up a new life in a foreign city.




Oh totally understand. Its quite funny how people ask you about your travels and you start telling stories about that time in Paris, and that other time in Venice, and then after two or so minutes, their eyes glaze over and they make their excuses and leave.

Since those indiviuals can't relate to those experiences, they get bored and move on.

Don't worry Geoffy, if you come home, we can share stories together and bitch and moan about the locals, lol

It is pretty hard to deal with the fact that your old friends don't want to hear your travel stories, or the moments that had a significant impact on you while living abroad, but its great if you can make new friends that have travelled as well and share stories. Although, you might need to move to Melbourne to find those people

Sounds good!

I found that if friends couldn't relate to your stories (ie have never travelled), then they just tune out. You're right, its hard to deal with.

Cant wait to catch up with you guys in Feb, and who knows, Melbourne might take your fancy

Hey Bex, I know I have been a bit of a shit keeping in touch but hope things are all good with you! I’ll be in Melbourne for a while in Dec or Jan so would be good to see you and Liam

All of this sounds so familiar for when I went back in Jan 2005. You were no longer growing alongside your friends and you just feel so apart from them. I wouldn’t trade what I have done for anything, but it makes me sad that there are many people who I will never be the same with.

The other thing is that until I know I can earn $120K plus in NZ there’s no point in going home because of what I’m earning at the moment. I get chills in the tube station and on the train whenever I see the Pure New Zealand photos but while it may not literally be the case, figuratively the grass for me is much greener in the UK!

But then I was planning my December/Jan trip and I realised that I am pretty much stuck in NZ/Aust for the whole time (unless I want to go somewhere like Fiji) – I suppose there is a bit to do in Aust and I really want a long summer but it does feel a little short on variety, and I am not a lazing on a beach kind of person. In fact the only thing I can think of doing to keep me fully occupied is competing in a bunch of half marathons in the region to fill in the time (God I am a sad cunt these days!)

Im practically the last one left in the UK out of my group of friends. My best friend got a job offer and is heading back to NZ in 2 weeks. It was a sudden decision and I'm pretty cut up about and have even begun to have my first thoughts about going home (I've been here almost 4 years now)! Erk!

But thanks boys and girls...afer reading all this I feel so much better in my choice to remain in the UK!!
Deep down in my heart I know that I'm not ready to be back in such a small place. There is still so much of this great big world to see and I wont be satified until I've done it all.

Sooo gotta get myself some britsh friends...at least the bastards wont leave me! ;o)


xx

What, even Victoria has left you Domino? ;o)

Oooohh, well for me it was Italian girls, but I hear you brother!

You spend years over here growing a whole headful of memories, but when you get talking to friends/family back home, they're biggest adventures was putting a deck in "out the back" (and maybe popping out another sprog).

I'm back in NZ for a flying visit in March. I'm scared already (honestly, I am ACTUALLY scared about this now). I'm thinking all my mental images and memories of home are going to be... rattled.

Oh my god listen to you lot? Maybe its not that people can't 'relate" what if you're just a boring lot of twats

She's got you there!

Spoken like someone who hasent travelled

Shows how much you know then doesn't it.

God I've heard all this stuff so many times.

I've been in London for 9years or so now and was planning on heading home with my LONG term (English) girlfriend in a year or so and felt ready for a change of pace and lifestyle finally ... unfortunately thats all gone pear shaped and we split recently.

I'm now half wanting to do a runner to get away from it all and at the same time dreading being back in NZ where most of my friends are married, never travelled other than to Surfers Paradise for a week and to be honest after so long here there are very few I am in any form of regular contact with.

I've had a lot of other friends who have been long term in London who have *really* struggled when they go back - especially those who are say mid 30's or so and are used to the London social scene which has a much wider age range and social groups all mixing together.

Two friends have recently returned - one gave it a year, the other after two years and she hated it.

The point thats been made about people not being interested is the most common thing I hear

Karlos ya slippery mongrel! long time no hear chief?

Heading to the World Cup this year? Just got some prices through for the Quarter & Semi finals.

Sorry to hear about your GF mate.

Addict - I hear exactly what your saying mate. I'm thinking the same things right now.

The funny thing is, it was all the tales of mates who had been to London and done the whole UK thing that really inspired me to come over here.

Its hard to understand why someone wouldn't be interested in your stories.

But really... Should we give give a fuck?

Hey Baynsey

Yeah would love to do the WC. If you're on harderfaster mate pm me the details to my acct there of the prices.

Whats happening with you DJ wise these days ? I took a big break myself apart from a few gigs in Finland in summer and a few at the Fridge .. I said in October I was finished but keep getting "convinced" to come back for one more

After nearly 3 years in Tokyo, 2 months driving a campervan round Europe and 5 months back packing round SE Asia it was a serious shock coming back to Auckland ... it quite seriously took me a good 6 months to acclimatize back to living in Auckland. Talked about reverse culture shock, I was just about to leave again on 2 different occasions.

I've set myself the goal, of living in NZ until June this year, and then having a hard think about where I want to be. Loved Tokyo & could definately live there again.

There's a lot I love about New Zealand and I'll always be a kiwi ... but there is a lot more to life than just living in NZ

If you move back to Tokyo Itchy, I will certainly come and visit you and Japan for 3 weeks quite easliy

Hi Itchy! Have you considered London? You've lived in Japan before - come to the UK

I dont think I would like it to be honest. Tokyo is this vibrant city with a fantastic culture & more festivals than you can shake a stick at. Primo weather, but it does get really hot in summer and freezing in winter and rains solid for 1 month. The money is really good even if you are just teaching English - saved about $20k per year I was there.

If I was heading back overseas it would be a choice between Melbourne and Tokyo. Got a lof of friends in both places ...

Done my 2 months travelling through Europe so I dont think there would be much for me to gain by living in the UK.

I would probably actually like it once I got set up there I suppose .... but I want to give NZ at least another 6 months to grow on me.

Hows it going for you Carolyn?

Sounds a lot like London actually (altho the weather is a bit worse )

It took me a couple of years to get back into it after I got back from the UK. I think I'm still having the after affects of it now, 6.5 years on. I'm in a career rut, want to travel again, have all these things I think I want in life but don't know if I REALLY want them when it comes down to it. I did another 2 sort of OEs, I went to Canada twice (the first time, it didn't work out).

Now I'm thinking about another OE to Ireland. I've already got the working holiday visa but I'm scared about going as I don't know anyone there. I'm also thinking of maybe doing the Norway working holiday visa but it might be too hard not knowing the language. I don't think any of us who've lived overseas will ever be the same again, I don't think I could ever stop travelling or wanting to experience life overseas. I just don't feel settled.

I've had the same thing with people asking if I'm going to settle down now, and after the 2 Canada trips they're now saying "So where are you travelling off to next?". I don't think NZ's slow or boring though. My family's here and my friends are here and I've always made an effort to keep in contact with everyone by emailing, sending gifts home, sending photos and stuff so it wasn't like I was isolated when I got back.

My uncle said something that was an insight for me. He said I'm a "free spirit". I've never thought of myself in that way before. Maybe all of us who've lived overseas are free spirits and we'll always want to travel. But I'm a libra too and I'm extremely indecisive which is bloody awful!

Hi Cyber Princess dpt is living in Norway. He would be a good person to drop an email to. I don't think he comes onto this site that often but Steveo or possibly Greenie would have his email address. I believe getting a visa there isn't easy.

By the way, how old were you when you went to the UK? You must have been very young if it was 6.5 years ago!

Only 3 weeks left in London for me, 3 weeks today actually!!! I'm off travelling for 6 weeks then am back in London for 4 days at the end of May for one last London bender!

It's back to Aust for me, still don't really want to go but in a way it will be nice to be back home. It's been 9 years since I lived in Aust and I am well out of touch. who knows what will happen!!

I'm planning to spend a couple of weeks in Adelaide & Melrose to see the family and friends then am thinking I will move to Sydney. I need the biggest city I can get after being in London!! It's going to be quite a lot of readjustment for me I think.

You can get a working holiday visa but you have to validate it with the police within 6 months of getting it. I might PM Steveo or Greenie about dpt's email address.

I was about 22 when I went to London and went for the 2 years of my working holiday visa. I wasn't ready to come home when it expired. I guess that feeling's never really left. I'm 30 now and trying to use the very last of the working holiday visa opportunities!

Got back from New Zealand 2 weeks ago..

LOVED IT!

Spent 5 days traveling around Central Otago. Its hard to find scenery anywhere in UK / Europe that beats what we have down there.

The remarkables in Queenstown blew me away.
Quad biking around the mountains of Lake Wanaka, Fantastic!!!!!

Not a drop of rain the entired time I was back. Some would argue, I was very fortunate

Funnily enough, I felt like a tourist back home.. When I got back to London, it felt like home. Thats a weird feeling.

CP - I thought you were about 25! Lol - normally I am pretty good at guessing people's ages. I am in that same boat re doors closing with getting working holiday visa's. I should have started travelling earlier.

Thinking of heading overseas after winter this year in NZ. Probably will book a round the world ticket that'll take me through Aussie, Singapore, London, Spain, Thailand. Did a similar journey 2005 and that tciket was $2800 I think ....

But, keen to do some time in South America too.

Has anyone been there from NZ or the UK? What's the best/cheapest way to get a ticket that encorporates South America?

ditto..

hearing about friends' tales about Europe made me want to explore those places myself! And im so pleased i did.

I've been 'home' for a month and a half now. Im still on holiday really.. hiding away, trying to decided between AK & Wgtn. I keep thinking "neither! i want to be in Europe"
But I am pleased to be home. It's just going to take a while to get my life 'set up'. The weather has been just swell , the food tastes like 'food' with flavour!, the scenery always makes me sigh and relax immediately.

i get bored hearing myself saying "when i was in the UK..." and compaing prices (things are suprisingly expensive here!!) but it's pretty hard to not call on your most recent experiences. Most people haven't asked much about our travels unless they've been travelling themselves.. but i kept most people updated while i was travelling... so they know all about it!

The biggest thing i miss about the UK is the shopping..!! both online and off. NZ is isolated and there are restrictions on what you can access around the world.. very frustrating.
Although I think its great that people promote 'kiwi made' so much here.. i would always prefer to support the local guy if i can (less carbon miles and all that guff.)


I can see myself getting itchy feet again (like now), but we've given ourselves a couple of years to get the house (and maybe the family) and then take it global again.. I'm too old for work visa's now, but my toy boy has a British passport... so im sorted

Most people think I'm younger than I am, I'm lucky that I look young.. will come in handy when I'm 40.. I might look 35 instead

luvdup - I went to South America from NZ last year. It's the most expensive place to fly to from NZ. I went with LAN Chile which was the cheaper airline out of the two that fly there from NZ and a 6 month ticket cost about $3300NZ. The less time you go for, the cheaper the ticket. A round the world ticket with Qantas from NZ was going to cost $4800. I don't know about prices from the UK, probably best to ask a local travel agent.

Cheers ... I was logged in as luvdup.

Yeah, I got a quote from New Zealand and $3800 + tax would get me:

Auckland -> Melbourne -> Singapore -> London -> Barcelona -> London -> Rio -> Bangkok -> Auckland

I was told I could add on more consecutive stops in Europe, South America and Asia too for no extra cost.

Just need more money!!

When I was travelling 2005 we did a similar trip (wiht no South America) and it cost about $2800 I think

Rio - keep me posted with that, I could be keen to tag along! Would love to go to Sth America.

I've been back in Sydney now almost 9 months since leaving London, first 3 months i found it difficult to adjust but once you get a job you soon get into the routine and London becomes just a bunch of great memories.

Lifestyle here is great, surf most weekends, golf, a decent music festival scene over the summer, loads of great sporting events, and great weather!

NZ on the other hand, not a chance i could go back and live there, a couple of trips each year to visit family is my limit. The place is just too limited!

Though must say when Glastonbury rolls around this year i'll be gutted i'm not there!