Just Jokes

Q. What do you do for a drowning New Zealand Rugby player?
> > A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.
> >
> > ===========================
> >
> > Q. What's the difference between the All blacks and an arsonist? A. An
> > arsonist wouldn't waste 5 matches.
> >
> > ============================
> >
> > The All Blacks are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and
no
> > CUP!!!
> >
> > ============================
> >
> > Did you hear that the NZ Post Office has had to recall their latest
> stamps?
> >
> > They had pictures of the All Blacks players on them. People couldn't
> figure
> >
> > out which side to spit on.
> >
> > ============================
> >
> > Did you hear about the Kiwi politician who was found dead in a All Black
> > jersey?
> >
> > The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order
> > to save his family from the embarrassment.
> >
> > ============================
> >
> > Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says,
"Accountants
> > are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything
> inside
> > them is numbered."
> >
> > The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything
inside
> > them is in alphabetical order."
> >
> > Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is
> > colour-coded."
> >
> > The fourth one says, "I prefer New Zealand Rugby players. They're
> > heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are
> > interchangeable."
> >
> > ============================
> >
> > A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off
> and
> > covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.
> >
> > He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?"
> >
> > "Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Carlos Spencer".
> >
> > "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the
> leaves,
> > the grass, the branches and the dirt ?"
> >
> > "Well, he tried to escape through the park."

A group of Capitalists were having their annual picnic day when a bus load of Proletarians careered out of control through the middle of them. There were dead and injured laying everywhere. "My God!", said the driver as he turned to the passengers,” Give me a hand!", and they all stood up and applauded!

Tough Crowd? Tough Crowd?

Did you hear that the post office has had to recall their latest stamps? They had pictures of capitalists on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Help me out here?


What’s the difference between a trampoline and a Capitalist?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.



What’s the difference between a female capitalist and a pitbull?
Lipstick.

What do Capitalists use for birth control?
Their personalities.

A man meets a friend and sees his car is a total mess and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.
He asks his friend: "what's happened to your car?"
"Well" the friend responds, "I ran over some fucking capitalist".
"OK" says the man. "That explains the blood...But what about the leaves, branches, grass and the dirt?"
"Well he tried to escape through the park"



Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.

The first says, "Accountants are the best to operate on, because when you open them up everything inside is numbered.

The second surgeon says, "No, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.

The third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded.

The forth surgeon says "I prefer Capitalists. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable.


Thankyou I be hear all week, please tip your waitress!

whats green and eats nuts????

Syphalis.
................................................................................................................

A 2 man plane crashed into a graveyard in central Ireland, the police recovered 600 bodies
................................................................................................................

A blonde girl just stepped into the bathtub when the doorbell rang.
"Who is it?"
"Blind man," came the response.
Feeling charitable, the blonde dashed from the tub without bothering to put on any clothes, grabbed her purse, and opened the door.
The man's jaw dropped and he stammered, "Wh-where do you want me to put these blinds, lady?"
............................................................................................................

Panting and perspiring, two blondes on a tandem bicycle at last got to the top of a steep hill.
"That was a steep climb," said the first blonde.
"It certainly was," replied the second. "It's a good thing we kept the brake on so we wouldn't have slid down backward
............................................................................................................

Newsboy: Extra, extra! Read all about it-two men swindled.
Man:Give me one. Say, there isn't anything about two men being swindled.
Newsboy: Extra, extra! Three men swindled
............................................................................................................

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

Wats red and invisable?


No Tomatoes
---------------------------

A nun is walkin back to her convent wen a man jumps out of the bushes and rapes her. Hes holding her down after the deed and asks
"watta you gonna tell your mother superior now eh?" the nun replies
"well of course ill tell hr the truth, i was happily walking back to the convent wen a nasty man jumped from the bushes and violently raped me twice................unless your tired"

--------------------------

Wats 14 inches long, dark blue and hangs from a cunt?

A policemans tie.



eZ

The wife comes home to hubby, 'doctor said I have tits and arse like an 18 year old'
Hubby:'what did he say about your 40 year old c*nt?'
Wife: 'he never mentioned you!'