I hate DJs

To the extent where I point blank refuse to call myself one. When people ask what I do, I lie to hide my shame. DJ's are an abortion, foul miscreants, bastard versions of something that was once indeed something to aspire to. Nowadays it's a filthy disgrace, image conscious fuckers whose only purpose is beating off their own gigantic egos. Gazing longingly into the mirror and the image they worship and hope others to do likewise.

Fuck them all.

aaaaaand just like that you bought into the machine. do i have to have a rant at you in here too?



stop quibbling over a name and get on with it. theres a marked difference between a good dj and the plebs that like to call themselves one.

go and hunt a tune called "tweekness (extended disco 12" by Freaks. it sums up what you are feeling about the dj culture quite nicely, and its a great tune too.

Basshunter for lyfe!!

it was never something to 'aspire' to

the dj booth should be off to the side, shrouded by curtains
the dance floor should focus on the centre of the room

Couldn't disagree more. Watching Derrick May shred the decks to pieces a couple of years back was one such spectacle to aspire to. Or other dudes who own that floor, Carl Cox, Stacey Pullen, Derrick Carter (and I'm sure theres some white dudes who can do it too ) is definitely something worthwhile aspiring to. It's actual showmanship.

NO

I know theres a difference, but just the same as real estate agents have a bad rep despite there actually being some good ones, the name association of DJ is a despised thing to me now.

Same with Kevin Saunderson and Jeff Mills.

Zactly. Black men just do it better.

Except for Eddie Halliwell who's somewhat of an anomaly but theres rumour somebody in his lineage slept with an Ethiopian

Zem french guys do it good too methinks. (well some of them). Justice (when playing as dj's) work it, Fred Falke, Kris Menace (he aint french though is he?)

have yous seen burridge play? hawtin?

i are pretty sure those lads are as white as they come..

I've never seen a black DJ strike a jeus poss

yet them whities just can't seem to help themselves

another example of the barriers confronting the black man which some have overcome

shows how little you know. the black jesus spins rekkids and he strikes poses all the time.

shame.

Ha ha, I was thinking about this pic when Bob said what he said.

They just caught it off black wimmins they was sleeping with

wut!?!

proves my point tbh

Have you ever seen him play?

By the way, I wasn't saying he was someone to aspire to, was just looking for examples of white dudes that tear shit up

yes i have; (very) cheap thrills

Other honkey's who shred it up,

Dan Kahuna (one of the best sets I've ever heard - mega underrated DJ imo), Danny Howells, Mark Farina, Valentino Kanzyani, Sneak (ok, he's Latino...), Junior Vasquez etc etc.

P-Money?

Never heard of the Kahuna burger. Howells and Farina, yes. Valentino is my pick for one of the most underrated DJ evar. Vasquez is Latino as well

If we are talking all forms of djing ie.turntablism, then P-Money is right up there IMO.
I saw him years ago at an ITF event, everyone was showin off, and looking cool, P walks up (all bashful and casual) puts on two copies of "Breath" by the Prodigy, and started juggling it so it was playing half time!!, the dj he was up against (alphabet head?) just turned around and started putting his tunes away. Everyone went apeshit!!

Scratch Piklez (a few Latinos there tho), Scratch Perverts the last time I looked were mostly on the honky bus.

Thats fucking awesome

Dude, it really was. It totally hooked me into gettin my scratch on. Thats another thing I loved about Proof when I met him, he was a battle dj! (well when he wasnt trying to mix Sven Vath into the Bee Gees!!)

I does love a good battle.

like, with ninja outfits and swords and shit?

only way to battle, imo.

Why don't you just avoid / ignore these people or start doing your own thing?

Actually if you're keen to look at putting a gig on some time I'd be totally up for that.

Once I find a new place to live.

this is what i have been telling him to do! maybe he will listen to you and stop his whining, he obviously doesnt take in what i say.

Pfffft, let me paraphrase our conversation from FB:


CT - I fucking hate all that image and wank and bullshit, why isn't it about the music anymore??
HL - You should just start your own gig. I'm sure some biggies will be keen.
CT - Actually yeah, thats a good idea.




Rips - dead keen my friend The real kicker for me is venue, I would want to do it someplace that has invested some decent coin into their sound system. I would be trying to get away from the "dress to impress" thing that seems to pervade every fucking club night in this city bar Brown Alley and focus on purely doing good music on a good system.

If that sounds like a similar ethos to yourself, then let's do it

sounded heaps better the way i said it. and besides, you still whinged after we talked so my comment is valid.

Barefoot techno? (btw, I just noticed, that upon looking at the word techno, it's saying no to tech.)

Dan Kahuna aka F.C. Kahuna...(half of at least)

Vasquez is as honkey as they come. Not one ounce of Latino in him bro.

Heh, that actually meant to say "surely Vasquez is Latino as well" what with a name like Junior Vasquez and all

He was originally a hair-dresser called Donald Mattern from Pennsylvania but changed his name to get a bit of cred in the club scene.

(true story)

I can see why, Donald Mattern from Pennsylvania is way to long to fit on flyers

The venue is always a tough one but so important.

Guess it depends just what quality of sound system you are after.

I played at Loop Bar in the CBD the other night, it went pretty well and the sound system seemed ok.

I haven't been to alot of venues here though.

Dress code can always be negotiated with management unless you want people to be able to turn up in shorts and singlets, then we might have a problem. I would never put on a party where collars were required anyway.

Nah, shorts and jandals is probably a wee bit of a stretch unless we had the gig kicking off late arvo in St Kilda or somewhere else near the beach

I haven't been to Loop, looks very cool though (judging by the website).

Been trying to figure out if a CBD locale or somewhere city fringe/inner city suburbs where we could completely take over would be better. Not sure on that one as yet.

Should be meeting with the owner of Escobar soonish and could find out what theyre doing there at the moment.

Escobar looks interesting. Let me know how that goes.

If you have any thoughts on a brand name and music policy flick me an e-mail.

Escobar is meh. Well it was when I last went 2 years ago anyway. Could have changed, space does have massive potential.

Loop is awesome, as long as you don't have pikey friends who want cheap drinks.

Loop is pretty sweet with a great visual setup.

My mate has the last Friday of every month but I don't think they are hard up for gigs so could be tough getting a spot there.

I can make some enquiries at least.

Keen! I know someone who works there, too...or did, ain't seen him in a while!

Will see what I can find out!

Sweet. Dooo it.

Shall we call it "I hate Djs" or "Fuck them all"?

call it "care factor".

now, lads, go and get it rolling so that i have somewhere to play when i get there!

Call it "Eat a Dick"

The promo and design practically create themselves.

Actually maybe not the best idea.

HA! I actually really like that

Marketing could be along the lines of: drop the pretension, drop the bullshit, drop your pants, big drops/crack rocks.

Featuring Resident Dudes Who Turn Up And Play Tunes They Like (NOT A DJ!)

I always liked Lucid.



I figure if you're transparent you're essentially free of BS.

i told you im good with names.

get it rollin lads! looking foward to hearing about it.

Ooooh, I also really like that!

OK, been giving this more thought. I'm all in. Let's do this

Kill the dj
Hang the dj
This dj sux (and all the people here are queer)
This party sux (and all the people here are queer)
Death to the DJ
We hate dj's
Last night I killed a dj
Pfft call yourself a dj?
"We didnt write these songs"
Too stupid to learn an instrument
We is DJ,...hate me now.
Dj's.....
Ive a new haircut
I played before someone famous
Im from overseas.

LeKnight

If I knew how there would be a crossy arms man right here buddy!

I don't hate DJs. I do hate image conscious fuckers whose only purpose is beating off their own gigantic egos though.

Heh. Too late. Its caught already..


bwahhahahahaha...

prolapse



sorry LeKnight

Thats alright, Ill take it on the chin in the name of good comedy!!


Bacon!

bacon indeed my good man

Yo C_T and any others who may be interested...

I'm getting Simon Flower and Matt Drake over December 12 for my gig here in Sydney at the Civic Underground.

All youse fullas should come! Parties called JANDAL - very relaxed dress code and a super nice soundsystem. Gunna be a full house, the more % of Kiwis the better heh

Nice dice, he don't work at Loop no more...now at 1806

You guys ever checked out Platform 1 on Flinders?

Heard that might be alight for a small gig

duno mate looks a bit small to me...

http://www.platform1.com.au/

It's perfect!!

Sitting room only means captive audience

ah I found the right site...

http://www.platformone.net.au/

Definite prospect.

That place looks funking superb

Only problem is that they already have club nights on Fridays and Saturdays...

Platform is really cool, but can suffer from sound issues arising from it essentially being two tunnels they used to store trains in.

I have heard whispers of it returning to glory days (Fractured lived there for a while, also had lots of DnB gigs and techno shizz) so this might be a good time to contact them.

Agreed.

Also: DJs.

Don't like. The craft is dead

That said, my shoddy drunken mixing is hardly 'the craft'

lol. what a random jump. vasquez to p money.

*Filipinos
Don't know what it is about filipinos, but they have produced the best hip-hop djs



thankfully hip-hop djing and turntablism still has a massive culture backing it, which makes it somewhat more immune to the woes of spinning the dance wheels of steel. **though turntablism does seem to be on a slow decline sadly