Do you like people?

As in, for the most part, do you think people are more good than bad?

I'm decidedly pessimistic. I think human nature is, at its core, "immoral" by most abstract ethical standards

I'm not talking about the rapists/murderers - they are outliers who don't represent the vast majority.

However, every day I see things that make me increasingly despise that vast majority. Selfishness is the big thing - in public, on the road. It's linked to stupidity. By stupidity I don't mean a lack of knowledge of quantum physics, but rather a refusal to actually THINK.

In poorer areas where poverty is rife I find it harder to "like" people, just because I think being poor makes people desperate and more open to opportunistic crap behaviour and attitude. ie: The feeling of the vibe of people in Henderson compared to Newmarket or even St Lukes is so different. That's just my observation. I generally really like people and try to be really patient with difficult personalities... and just try to think well that's the way they are they are not being that way to piss me off....

You just hate poor brown people don't you QT

fuck yea and gypsy's

Or just a refusal to even give a shit I think.

A lot of people out there seem to have a 'its them or me' attitude towards life, they become very self cantered and will trample over whoever they have to get ahead, this then filters down to the smallest of everyday things such making way for someone on the footpath.

Large cities with their dense populations and competitive culture are especially bad for this I have discovered.

Gross generalisations of course but the evidence seems to mount on a daily basis.

I like people and think in general people are way more good than bad

Basically, people are cunts. At times I get really down and angry about how people treat others. they dont care about anyone but themselves. I watched a line of people shove an old man off the bus one day. He stumbled and nearly fell. The driver went to his rescue and I picked up his bags. he was so grateful that someone actually stepped up to help. The masses trying to get on the bus just ignored it and shoved past anyway. I swore profusely at them all. :>

Seriously, what is wrong with people!? If everyone took 2 minutes out of their day to consciously think about others, or help someone out, this world would be a far nicer place to dwell in.

Yeah, not a huge fan to be honest

I like people. Especially those in the form of sexy wimmins. :>

But I am a humanist at heart and I do believe in the basic good of mankind. Sure there are a whole shit load of bad people out there but I think it's human nature to take more notice in the bad behaviour (take for example the news - gossip columns etc) so the good that you see every day tends to get lost in the mix. Every day I see examples though of great human beings and these are the people I try to surround myself with.

On a sort of similar topic I always have trouble when people act poorly when they're drunk and then it gets explained away as "oh, they're fine usually.. he/she's just drunk"..

You are less capable of controlling stuff when you're drunk so it makes more sense that you act more like who you really are when you are drunk when you can't cover it up. When you're sober you have more control and therefore can better keep whatever undesirable/antisocial traits you may have in check.

Get someone drunk and you'll see what they're really like deep down, not the other way around imo.

People can change a lot when pack mentality sets in.

I've always loved this exchange from Men in Black...

Yep, I like people one-on-one, but not so much in crowds.

Or on the internet. People on the internet are cunts.

I think you just nailed how I feel too. I find it extremely interesting that people tend to lose the ability to think for themselves once they are in a crowd.

I wonder whether the old man on the bus would have fallen, or if he had whether they would have helped had there only been one or two people there..

There's a couple of really good presentations by Dan Ariely on TED that deal with exactly those kinds of questions...

http://www.ted.com/speakers/dan_ariely.html

I like people, i'm highly empathetic so it's difficult not to. But I agree with QT's sentiment, that people are often degraded by poverty - although the opposite is true as well, that people are frequently degraded by priviledge.

Liking people doesn't make me optimistic about people. We have very limited capacity to understand the ways in which the sytems we have created are against our best interests. Also our social nature is not all encompassing, the stoneage distinction between 'us' and 'them' is not useful to us anymore even though it is the basis of our world.

I don't particularly like or respect the majority of people, but:

a) I am getting much better and more chilled
b) There are rare amazing gems around that rock my world in a variety of ways



gc.

There is a list of frustrations and often disappointments but I think I like people, or at least I want to like them and see the best in them. More and more these days though I do feel like humanity is dragged MASSIVELY down by at least half of it's people. We could soar so high if it weren't for the fucking dead weights,

I really do like people and try to look for the best in everyone. Hopefully that will never change, but unfortunately that does mean I am so often getting shit on. Everyone seems to be only thinking about themselves these days. True friends are hard to find....

I really can't be assed writing anything,

but it I did I would make reference to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment

and maybe something other things I can't think of right now

Saying poverty or affluence are things that negate a persons ability to interact with people and contribute to a community surely is just a by product of a capatalist soceity no? You know like getting ahead at anyone else expense, not caring about others, being self centred etc etc ... isn't that just a relection of the society we live in and what's deemed as being important?

In answer to the question, I think there's hope. People are slowly changing, and for every person that simply doesn't give a shit about everyone else, there are becoming more people over time, little by little who do ...

As Gandhi said be the change you want! I try to live my life with that in mind

I try to find the best in people and make sure I form my own opinions rather than let others influence it. Essentially if I don't like you then you probably are a complete cunt/fuck up.

That said, I have a genuine dislike for pikeys, and other people who display behaviours best described as scummy.

I do not like people. Most people are freaks. Weirdos, freaks, idiots, nutbars, psychos, liars, dicks.

Yup, a lot of people out there that I don't like, only a few that I do.

I think I'd be quite happy living on a farm somewhere away from society for the rest of my life.

lol @ the fkn haters ITT who think they're different from "most people" :>

IN ADDITION!

yeah, exactly

I think I should clarify what i wrote earlier ITT.. I do actually like people. I think that there is good in everyone. i dont for a second believe that people are inherently evil or that theres no hope. I guess I just expect more from the masses. It saddens me that people will walk over others to achieve goals or that they wont hold out a helping hand..

So, therein, I do think the masses are cunts. I think that everyone has good in them though. It would be deace to see them actually pull this good out once in a while..

It seems that it's the likers that are actually different ITT anway.



What's the relevance of this? I can't click on the clip because watching more a second of that movie causes me to fall into a deep coma due to intense boredom.

it's a clip of plaimview(sp?) saying how much he hates other people :>

I can live with people walking over other people to achieve their goals. Same goes for people who wont hold out a helping hand. But I don't get those who go out of their way to fuck someone over, even if it will effect them in a negative way.

Yeah, this has always been a little beyond me too. The nasty, malicious nature of some people is horrifying. Aside from the fact that they are surrounding themselves with negative energy the whole time, wouldnt it get tiring being so cruel? I really dont understand why people would direct all their energy into creating vile gossip or just generally being awful to someone.. Whats the point?!

Schadenfreude

There is a fine line between schadenfreude and sadism, imo. Regardless, these people need help.

I don't want to be hostile.
I don't want to be dismal.
But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existence either.
See
I want to believe you,
And I want to trust
And I want to have faith to put away the dagger.
But you lie, cheat and steal...lie cheat and steal...lie cheat and steal...I will not tolerate you

Im just an intolerant bitch who doesn't like people who are different than myself.

In short, yes I think people are 'more' good than bad. When I was a teenager and even early 20’s, I would meet new people and judge them to be a cunt first, and they had to redeem themselves from that starting point. Really not a good outlook to have… Now it’s the flip side, I always look at why someone is a good cunt and use that as a starting point which is a much more positive outlook to have… although in saying that I do employ the 1 strike rule for muppets…

I think people are mostly good and mean well.

Hwever they are fickle, and will say one thing one day and something different the next which annoys the hell out of me.

And int he end humanity for the most part is just a confused little bunch trying to make their way int he world and making decisions as they go along.

I hate you

The worst people for me atm are the people who pretend to be nice and then they back stab... For some reason I thought it would end when I finished high school but some people never grow up.

QT - yup you are so right. Grown uyps are just 12 year olds in bigger bodies. Its the truth.

I actually am.

I make it a point to consciously think about how my behaviour could best help others around me. As little as putting my shopping trolley to one side, moving off promptly when lights turn green, not pushing into queues etc. Ringing people before sending an email. Etc etc.

I'm not saying I'm a great person, merely that at least I make the effort.

I try to see the best in people, absolutely have to, to survive with my work. even in criminals I try to see what's good in them. otherwise it's pointless. humans, human nature, will always let you down. I try to remember, with the people I meet who appear to be unsalvageable, they have given up on themselves, having prospects, any future. I don't think the systems we have in place bring out the best in people, necessarily, as OneHappy observes. the economic system does not favour the disadvantaged or those at the bottom of the heap. desperation breeds the worst in people.

it will all boil down to the usual mentality of "my life is difficult, therefore the universe owes me something for my hardship - so I have the right to:

A) Spit on the street
B) Cut you off on the road
C) Blow smoke in your face
D) Be an arsehole to workmates / family
E) Have rowdy all night drinking sessions during the week
F) Act like the indignant victim whenever anyone tells me to stop being a dick."

Of course these people will never ackowledge that their hardship is largely due to their own stupidity. Get a haircut, put down the reefer, get a haircut, get a job, stop being a cunt.

hahaha wtf dude

????????????? wtf


why is that necessary? I don't think it's rude to send an email unannounced. would you ring before posting a letter to say a letter is on the way?

lol i don't doubt this for a second

Everyone is a bit like that, it's a basic. When shit happens to us, it's bad luck and when good things happen, it's because of something we did to make it so.

Edit: directed at virgo1's post.

Theres plenty of times I call just before/after sending an email. The email gives the data, the phone call makes sure the person understands and you can get instant feed back. It works really well when dealing with busy people who don't read emails properly. And so many times when you talk to someone they ask you to email something anyway.

Its not the same as emailing someone (which is non urgent communication generally) and then calling them just to say you have sent something.

nah he just means staying in touch the personal way (I guess)

Yeah but insisting you call ahead of every email as a life rule is fucking insane!



gc.

I can understand vadz's point. He is often thoughtful of other people in a way that other people often aren't, and that can set one up for fucking huge disappointment and disillusionment at other people in general.

Just because people are idiots or too busy to notice other people doesnt mean its not worth being considerate. If you have the attitude that you shouldnt do little things like being aware there are other people in the world because other people dont then sucks to be a grumpy 5 year old.

Nothing wrong with pointing it out once in a while as long as you're not being a martyr about it.

You heard the man! Get a job!




I think a reason why people get so pissed off at other people, or get so let down by them is that they fail to see the truth in people. That truth is that people aren't like characters in a movie, they're not "good", they're not "bad", what they are is that they're capable of both behaviours at different times.

Really - I dont know many people who put people as good or bad.

The thing is, you treat people like you would like to be treated. People who cheat often think their partner is also unfaithful. People who expect others to be aware of them try to be aware of others. You may be good at all the things you care about but shit at what other people expect of you. If you expect others to try to understand what it is you expect and reciprocate then you are probably a better person than many.

That's a really weird reply and I'm not sure what you are saying or who you are saying it to...

Whats so hard about what I wrote? It could have done with 2 more commas but it isnt far off. It was aimed at whoever.

"Just because people let you down don't stop trying to do the right thing (within reason, you have to look after yourself first). If you are nasty to others because others have been nasty to you then you are acting like a grumpy 5 year old and possibly deserve the some of the shit you get."

I would rather be nice to most people and get shat on, than be a cunt and feel good about shitting on people. If you are a cunt, no matter what you do, what you get, or what other cunts say about you, you are still a cunt.

I was thinking about something slightly related the other day. People seem to let whiny/bitchy/cunty people away with shit because its easier than telling them to piss off. I personally am not afraid of confrontation so I make it a habit to help people who deserve it and stonewall people who try to bully people into getting what they want. I wish other people would stand up against arseholes, we seem to be breeding them.

It wasn't the punctuation, just that it seemed to be assuming that anyone who gets disappointed in other people is then going to stop making effort at being nice and become a cunt or whiny.

Unless you weren't even replying to my comment.

Not every email. More like bob's point

I really like working where I work now, everybody is big on actually visiting each other and though sometimes email would actually be better (rather than making annotations on a printed document), it definitely means everybody is aware of each other

Not at all and no I wasn't.

I thought he meant calling people instead of emailing?

Right reading through the whole thread has reminded me of the scummy behaviours that boil my piss:

- Spitting on the street, seriously I don't give a fuck what your cultures thinks about if you do this you are scum... If you must spit do it in a bin or on the grass.
- Playing music out loud on a cellphone in a public environment, your taste in music is shit and it sounds even worse played through a tinny cellphone speaker. What the fuck gives you the right to make others listen to it?
- People who stop and have conversations in doorway or other choke points, are you serously so self absorbed you don't see what the problem here is?
- People who don't let people out of something (bus, train) before trying to enter.
- High school kids who don't let people older than them onto buses first - seems to be a public school thing but why don't these kids have any manners? Well maybe it's due to the pride of the school as crap schools like Mt Roskill and Auckland Girls do this whereas pupils at schools like St Peters and Auckland Grammar are more respectful.
- Men who don't let woman on buses first, basic...

All behaviors that should be straight forward enough for any reasonable person to comply with.

my pet hate at the moment is smokers who "walk and smoke" (on Queen Street mainly) leaving a trail of smoke/ash in their wake, sometimes ash blows in your face or over your clothes when you are walking right behind them. or they are walking with cigarette in hand WAY out to the side, waving it around not caring if said cigarette touches other people or their clothing. that's really fucking selfish behaviour.

People who smoke in bus shelters

yeah the cunts should go inside and smoke

oh

What fucking year are you living in? The only people I let on the bus/tram before me are the people who were waiting at the stop before me

People who whinge about people smoking OUTDOORS...get a fucking grip...you've already won the war to keep them out of every cafe, bar, restaurant, club, workplace...now you're gonna cry when they're having a smoke in the street??? Give me a fucking break

Not a fan of people at all.

I try to be optimistic but am constantly, and consistently, let down by humanity (myself included).

Admittedly it's different in places with really high public transport usage as it becomes completely dog eat dog... After having about 10,000 people push in front of me trying to catch the tube for the first few weeks in London I soon learnt that chivalry and politeness meant being an hour late because that's how long it would take to get on the tube at rush hour if you have even a moments hesistation.

Now that my mother and sister have quit smoking, I can probably generalise and say that I hate everyone who smokes.



gc.

Damn... ain't that the truth!

no problem if they smoke outside but they can fuck off if they are going to do that in an inconsiderate fashion i.e. just look and think and keep that thing out of my face and off my clothes - I didn't choose to smoke, you did

I think you would change your tune if some dick burnt you or your clothes cos they were walking with it in hand and not giving a shit/caring

hehe...just being a facetious bastard...the situ/people you discribed suck balls...I'm even very considerate when smoking in cafe outdoor areas as to try and blow my smoke away from other people...but I've seen people sitting in the outdoor area bitterly complaining about peoples smoke while there was vacant tables inside...don't sit in the only area we can smoke in if it pisses you off that much, tardos...you won the battle to get us stuck outside, don't sit in our area and then cry about it

I agree, some people are a bit too precious about smokers/smoking - I don't have a problem with it if there is reasonable consideration for others

personally, I wasn't up-in-arms about smoking indoors per se - but that's the way law went

and of course, we all know from dance parties, smoke actually was useful in veiling certain ... other smells

I like people. It's amazing how people who seem rude and nasty become nice if you smile and be polite. And I am a SUPERSTAR at smiling and being polite. Also at modesty, I rock modesty too.

Really? You didn't mind coming home smelling like an ash tray even when you didn't smoke?

Never a better move imo.

'I rock modesty' - totally going on a t-shirt some day.

You only have to look at the enviroment to see how much people suck.
We wreck everything we touch, we even destroy the minds of children (our most precious resource) with smut, violence and the mindset of "me me me me me me me me me"
Im havent given up on us, but some days we make it hard to stay positive.

PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU SLAPPER, MY SON DOESNT WANT TO WATCH YOU SWINGING AROUND A POLE WHILE YOU ATTEMPT TO FOB OFF THAT UNINSPIRED PIECE OF SHIT YOU CALL MUSIC. HE'S TRYING TO WATCH CARTOONS FOR FUCKS SAKE.

We are heading to a very bad place.

In reality, most of the things people have posted here, are actually pretty good problems to have. I mean its not like your being held hostage for trying to speak out about your government, or you've been forced to flee you home through war, or massive outbreaks of diseases etc, you cant drink water cause it's too polluted, or your family has just been blown to pieces by a cluster bomb, or your son has just been murdered for following a different religion.
It's off topic, but this kinda goes back to the root of the problem......me me me me me me me me me me me me....

Fuck, it's too heavy for a Monday.

This.

This is a major pet hate of mine. Every single time this happens I feel like yelling at them "YES, you ARE in everybodys way"

A few times, when I was in a club, I've actually told people (politely) to move - they usually think I work there and very apologetically get out of the way. It's great! Unfortunately you can't do that at the supermarket/on the street.

oi you pet haters... where the fuck do you stanbd in relation to the thread topic?

fuck I hate people who can't read

This reads soooooo poorly.
You have never been poor have you?

Why do you say that LeKnight? I pretty much agree with QT...

She's an islander. The breadline can never be far away, surely.

:>

gc.

Cause she makes it sound like she is afraid of catching poor off these people.
I'm sure these people don't want to be poor, and to be disliked or be found hard to like because of how much money they have just reeks of fear, and a general lack of understanding of people, and it's downright unfair.
I understand poverty stricken areas often have more crime, which is purely due to circumstance (99% of the time), and is often forced on them, but rich people commit just as much crime, often worse crimes, due to the fact they feel they don't have to answer for their actions, and their crimes are often in 3rd person rather than 1st person "street" crime.

I think you've missed the point of her post

(not even close either )

The motivations don't change the facts dude - it doesn't matter how 'downright unfair' you think it is.



gc.

Agree totally, I think I came off wrong there, I wasnt having an attack at Q (sorry if this was how it was taken)
I was more commenting on the whole poor = crime = I dont like them etc..

It just makes me mad when I hear "I dont like poor people"

Not trying to stir shit guys.

I had already answered the thread topic. fuck I hate people who can't read

I hate people that point out the bloody obvious... I know you'd posted your opinon on the topic... but you couldn't leave it there could you Mr tonymanero....

Overly naked gys in the gym locker rooms... It's a locker room there's a degree of nakedness involved but when walking from the showers to your locker could you put that towel draped over your shoulders around your waste. No one wants to see that!

I love unintentional puns.
And to bobd

Definitley some weird scenarios going on. Dudes doing just as you say. Others going to extraordinary ends to not show even the slightest glimpse of bum cheek.

i'm actually losing a lot of my deeply embedded cynicism regarding humanity. But only at a personal level. By that I mean I am really prepared to understand individual people and recognize their goodness within them and so love them for that.

But of course on bigger levels humans are a real worry eg that nuclear explosions thread I started recently. I mean wtf ? Who would do that shit. Oh yeh people. People, supposedly ones just like you and me.

So its a struggle to like people in general. I can only overcome that struggle at more intimate levels

I don't go to gyms, but I shower at work after cycling, and have often thought the same thing...some people are "locker room people" and some people just aren't...like sure, say "Hi, how was your ride" to the other cyclists when you're out of the shower, but to try and engage someone in a conversation while being butt fucking naked is just wrong! Idiots

hey, maybe they're just trying to come on to you

poverty is a great human evil, Charles Dickens recognised that - absolutely nothing has changed since his day, we just have a more sophisticated and technologically-advanced society to distract us from the fundamental underlying social problems he identified.

You're reading Bleak House on your IPad? ;+)

Bleak House is one of my faves - especially for its description of the court system, which hasn't really changed since then either - still over-crowded, smelly, full of human misery, clogged up with unresolved cases, tyrannical judges yelling at counsel, etc etc. scary stuff!

this is hilarious, Fundamental Attribution Error anyone ?

Served up with a side of situationism ?

of course !
watch out for that spontaneous combustion tho.