Axis of Evil

> In a State of the Union speech, Dubbya Bush calls Iraq, Iran and North
> Korea an 'Axis of Evil" N.Y. Times, 30/1/02.

> Angered by snubbing, Libya, China and Syria were swift to form Axis of
> Just as Evil; Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other
> Nations Start Own Clubs.
>
> Story
> Beijing is bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
> Evil," and has joined with Lybia and Syria today announced they had
formed
> the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that
> stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State
of
> the Union address.
>
> Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as
> having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as
Evil...
> in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody
> knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
>
> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
> although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
> "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An
> Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President
> Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you
> had Germany, Italy, and Japan
> in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake.
Ours
> is wicked cool."
>
> THE AXIS PANDEMIC
> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
> within minutes to be consistent, France surrendered. Elsewhere,
> peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a
> game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed
> the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and
Myanmar
> in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia
> established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally
> Disagreeable.
>
> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
> up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis
of
> Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
> Olympics.
>
> Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are
Actually
> Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain,
> Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be
> Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. "That's not a threat, really, just
> something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jaaaack
> McConnell.
>
> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
> fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
> rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
> "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
> Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
>
> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
> privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.