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A very tired husband came home from the office after a long grueling day to find his wife in her sexiest nightgown waiting for him at the door with a couple of glasses of wine in hand. She took his briefcase from him and led him over to the couch where she proceeded to help make him "more comfortable."

"How should we do it tonight, honey?" she cooed in his ear, "Shall we do 69?"

"I don't think so dear. I'm pretty tired. How about 68?" he said.

"Huh, 68? What's 68?" she asked, a little puzzled.

"You do me, and I'll owe you one."

Two college guys take their virgin friend to get him laid for the first time. They go to a whore house and he picks the one he wants.

They go to her room and she asks the gentleman want he would like to do. Not knowing what he would like, he asks for the options.

The lady replies, "Well I can 1) give you a hand job, 2) two we can screw, or 3) we can 69." The man goes for option three, 69. The lady tells him to go on her and start kissing her genitals.

As the man starts to lick, the young lady cuts a real fart. She apologizes and the man continues.

She then farts again. Before she can say another word, the young man says "Listen lady, I don't know what this is all about but I don't think I can take 67 more of those."

Q. What is long and hard and full of semen?

A. A submarine!


I want one of THOSE................. on tick.......twice........ with ROCKETS